Wednesday, 3 November 2010

Being Single Over 40

Author:  Sharron Lee

Job Vacancy, Indonesia Job, Job Indonesia, Job, Careers


I am single and over 40. I feel like 25 but my birth certificate says different. I grew up in the 70's and 80's when the women's lib movement was in full swing. Women could do anything men could do. It was the empowered generation. My mother was totally into it. She fought for women rights,civil rights and the right to be a divorced woman raising three wild kids. When I was little most of my friends parents were not divorced. It was odd but I liked it because I got two sets of presents at Christmas. It helped that my father loved us kids. But being a divorced kid had its disadvantages too. I heard too much why they divorced and I grew up way too young. Kids always feel responsible even though there is no way they are. I did not believe in marriage. Both my parents got divorced more than once and I did not see the point of all that hurt.
In the 80's there was disco and dance clubs. You could be a single woman and have the best time dancing in the clubs. There were many opportunities to hook up and many times I did. I would have boyfriends sometimes for over a year but they would never last. I did not know how to keep a lasting relationship because I was never taught as a child. I picked men that naturally were bad for me. I think maybe subconsciously I wanted it to fail. I lived on my own and basically was happy. I liked the independence and the freedom to do whatever I wanted. Sadly enough I did not broaden my horizons that much on my own. In my 30's I started getting depressed at how much time had been wasted. I was sad all the time. I had a great job, apartment, beautiful car and a semi boyfriend but I was not happy. I had no peace. I thought that it was over and that there were not any more chances for me. I basically gave up. I weighted about 115lbs and was wasting away.
When I went to church I started to feel a sense of peace come over me. I cried a lot for awhile. It helps to cry and release all the old hurts from your past. If you don't, how will you ever have a future? After the crying comes the look within. You need to see all the positive things about yourself right now and what you can accomplish. I read my bible and learned about how Abraham and Sarah had a child well beyond there twilight years. How today really could be the first day of the rest of your life. I changed my perception of my life. I still am young and can do all the things that God wanted for me. I have begun to write which is a dream come true. As far as being single, I believe that if you are content with who you are by yourself then you will find the man you were meant to meet in Gods time. And I do believe in marriage now. I believe any thing is possible even children. I can still have one or I could adopt. I could be a Big Sister to someone in need. The possibilities are endless. Think outside the box and keep dreaming.

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